Evan and bananas are not a great pair. Causing both horrible reflux and gas pains, I gave Evan just half a container of bananas yesterday, and he is still not recovered from the very tasty but completely incompatible experience. He has screamed and cried quite a bit since yesterday, and I just feel so bad for him. Tonight, he took his last bottle and then, after a little wake time, I put him in his swing to settle him down for the night. Not long after he began to swing, he started crying and crying and screaming and screaming....again.
I decided little boy and I needed to cuddle. There have been moments today that even holding him would not calm him (he is a major cuddler, so this means he is really in pain), but I thought I'd give it a try. Well, wouldn't you know, that little boy began to calm down as soon as I held him close. He just wanted to cuddle, and he stared intently at me. I sang to him and that brought the biggest smile to his face...I pulled out all the songs I've been singing recently....The "Doe, A Deer" song from Sound of Music, Heart of Worship, Father Abraham (a childhood classic!), Trading My Sorrows (for the joy of the Lord), and some others that I can no longer remember at the moment. I patted his little backside to the rhythm of the songs, and as I did so, Evan took one hand and began to reach for my face. He grabbed my hair (in a not so gentle manner), he grabbed my nose and my lips and my cheek. I got the feeling that for one of the first times, Evan wasn't just looking at me, he was seeing me, his mommy.
This was such a memorable "mommy" moment for me. I felt as if I was the remedy for his little tummy, and it was so, so sweet. When I would look away, he would fuss. But as soon as my gaze turned back to his big, blue eyes, he would rest again.
I rocked that baby boy to sleep, and then we cuddled for a while. I got a little teary realizing that one day this little boy would be a man and would be leading his own family, and I would be holding on to this passing moment that so blessed my heart. He won't ever remember his hurt tummy, and he won't remember our cuddle time either, but I was blessed nonetheless and will cherish it for quite some time.
Ronda that is so sweet! It is such a blessing to be able to recognize how God uses us in the lives of our children in each stage in their lives! I agree with you that one thing about blogging that is so sweet (at least for me) is that I am able to write things (type things) that I probably would never have recorded in anyway! Then I will have it forever! This is a memory I know you will cherish forever! Thank you for sharing! May God bless you with many many more!!
ReplyDeletebeautiful...what a precious story and a precious memory you will have forever. This made my heart smile this morning :)
ReplyDeleteronda,
ReplyDeletei loved reading that, but more importantly it is a sweet moment that you have now documented for him. for that reason alone, i'd encourage you to continue to blog. even if you decide to do something private--you will be recording precious memories for them (and yourself--since memories DO fade). and although right now the thought of taking time to do this is daunting, the self discipline to do it periodically will be SO worth it.
i am with you on the fear of "too much information out there," but i'd also encourage you NOT to make a decision based on that fear (or any other decision for that matter).
thanks for what you've shared so far. ;) hoping we can connect in real life sometime....